OK, so technically I never had it. It’s not like I lost it all in the market or it was stolen from under my mattress. I never had it. Never had a half million or even $100,000. Shit, I only had $10,00 for a short time before giving it to somebody the day I bought my first house.
So although I never had a million dollars, I feel as though I should have had it. I should have made a million dollars by now. Should have at least been in the situation where I had money set aside that was working for me to get to a million dollars. But I don’t. I have barely enough to cover my mortgage and a few other bills. I actually had to borrow money from my wife today in order to cover my bills.
That does not make you feel like a strong confident man. It makes you feel like worthless peice of dogshit.
So that’s where I am today. Feeling lower than the grass that 2 week old dogshit has been laying on.
That’s the story I have been telling myself. You are worthless. You have no future. You can’t earn any extra money. You don’t know where to start. You don’t have any idea what you’re doing.
I am the anti-affirmation guy. Stuart Smalley would punch me in the face if he were close by. Maybe that’s what I need. A good punch in the face would do me good.
I need a different story. So that’s why I am now telling myself that I lost a million dollars. If I can make myself believe that I lost a million bucks than I can make myself believe that I can earn a million bucks!
It’s brilliant!! I’d would much rather be known as the moron that lost a million dollars as opposed to the average Joe that never even came close to earning it. Because I don’t think there is anything worse than being average. And that’s exactly what I have become. Average to below average.
Sorry, this is a really depressing post.
The point I’m trying to make is this…we are telling ourselves stories everyday. Stories that steer us in one direction or another. The story I have been telling myself that I’m worthless and incapable of making any money is a cancer to my own head. I have invited cancer into my head and I will NEVER be successful if I continue to think this way.
Sure, I overspent this past month and didn’t have enough to cover all my bills but how freaking lucky am I to have a wife as understanding as her. How lucky am I that she is a hard working woman and is able to help out when I need it. How lucky are we both to have a relationship where we can count on each other.
And she doesn’t think I’m worthless because I needed to borrow money! Those are my new thoughts, my new story.
To hell with the old story. The End. Now it’s over. Time to start a new book. Not a new chapter. A whole new freaking book!!!
In this book, I’m the hero. The hero that lost a shitload of money only to discover an entirely new way to create income. A product, a service that helped millions of people around the world! How people survived before they met me I’ll never know. I bring so much value to the marketplace and to the world that I will be remembered forever.
That’s my story. It hasn’t been written yet but it has been imagined. And it will never end because my legacy will last forever.
I encourage you to start writing your own story. Start creating your own legacy.
Some of the more religious people in my life have often said, “The story has already been written.” As if to indicate there is a God above that has written our story for us prior to our birth. I question that belief but even if it were true, even if our story has already been written, I’m the final editor. And NOTHING will go to print without my approval.
From here on out, I have the pencil, I have the eraser, and I have a blank slate. I can’t wait to finally create the life of my dreams. My story. My legacy.