My Head Won’t Leave My Head Alone

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That’s a line from the DMB’s song “Rhyme and Reason”.  And it is so incredibly true.

 

Here are some more…

“How long I’m tied up
My mind in knots –
My stomach reels
In concern for what I might do or What I’ve done
It’s got me living in fear
Well I know
These voices must be my soul
I’ve had enough I’ve had enough of being alone
But I’ve got no place to go”

 

Ugh, what an awful feeling.  I’m not sure what this song is about.  Some people say it is about heroine addiction.  But I’ve never spoken with Dave to confirm that.

I’m not at addict but I am a worrier.  And sometimes I wonder which is worse.

Lately I have come to the realization that I am entirely too self absorbed.  I think about myself way too much.  Not in a selfish way but in a fearful way.  I’m so consumed with fear of the unknown that I miss things.  I forget things.

I’m so overcome with fear of what others are thinking that I don’t make the feelings of others a priority.  It has the complete opposite effect on what I want.

My head won’t leave my head alone.  I can’t make it stop.

It’s like there is a cloud of uncertainty , fear and concern.  It’s all around me, covering me like the dirt that sticks with the Peanut’s character, Pigpen.

I can’t get through it.  No knife is sharp enough to cut it.  No shower is long enough wash it away.

A conversation in the other room makes me wonder if they are talking about me.  A ding on the phone makes me think they are discussing me.

Me me me.  Is it about me? There’s that ding again…is that about me?

MAKE IT STOP!!!!

 

Dealing with this makes me realize a few things.

 

It’s not about me.

People are much more concerned about themselves than they are me.  Sure, some of it may be about me but even the things that are about me are really about them and how I’m affecting them.

 

Communication reduces friction.

There has never been a situation where this wasn’t the case.  At least not in my world.  Talking with someone will always help.  Even if there is a massive blowup during that talk, communication will ALWAYS get closer to the resolution.

 

Ignoring it never helps

Time heals all wounds but ignoring a situation is a sure fire way to make you miserable for a long time.

 

Gratitude helps.

It’s impossible to be both sad and grateful at the same time.  Practicing the attitude of gratitude will help you in bite sized moments.  It wont fix the problem but it will be a breath of fresh air.

 

Disappointing others is a major fear.

I now understand that disappointing people is my biggest concern.  It’s impossible to protect yourself from this.  You just have to do the best you can every time in all situations.  Be prepared and give it your all.  Mistakes will be made, incorrect decisions will be made.  You will disappoint people.  It’s OK.  Don’t let it get you down.

 

Turn bad situations into positive opportunities.

I learned this when I was a Cast Member at  Disney World.  Best customer service secret ever!  You will have situations that come up that are uncomfortable.  You need to try as hard as you can to get the guts to communicate and turn it into something positive.  Something that you can use to build off of.  Things are always either getting better or worse.  They never stay the same. You’re either livin’ or dyin’.

 

Remember the 10 Year Rule.

Is what you are currently dealing with going to matter in 10 years?  10 Months? 10 days or even 10 hours?  If not then you need to just forget about it.  There are very few problems you will face that will matter in 10 years or even 10 months.  Heck most of our problems won’t matter in 10 hours.  Especially if you take action and start working on building the solution now.

 

That’s all I’ve got. Hopefully I will take my own advice cause my head is really starting to exhaust me.

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