Communication with others
This is important. This topic is a big one. We all talk way too much. We spend our conversations waiting for the other person to finish talking so that we can express our viewpoint. And those are actually the good conversationalists! Most people don’t even wait for you to finish. Most people have no problem with interrupting you as you speak.
This is not how successful people handle their conversations. Successful people listen, intently. They realize that the person they are listening to is the most important person in the world, at least according to that person.
Just like you feel as though you are the most important person in the world. Just like you want to be heard and want to feel comfortable expressing your opinions.
Communicating well with others will set you apart from everyone else. Most people won’t take the time to learn how to make others feel important. We find it refreshing when someone comes along and is able to have a decent conversation.
Here are a few tricks for making others feel important.
Always use a person’s name.
Let me guess, you aren’t good with names? That ends now. There aren’t many things as important to a person than his own name. It is the sweetest sound you can here. Using the names of people will immediately set you apart. Whenever you are introduced to someone, always say their name back to them to make sure you heard it correctly. Use it once more before you leave the conversation. Writing it down on a notebook at that point will help tremendously.
Yes, a notebook. You should start carrying a small notebook to capture ideas as well as names of people. I use a water’s book because it’s cheap, small and a bit of a conversation starter.
Do you prefer to be around someone that is moping or upbeat? Someone negative or positive? Someone with a big frown on their face or a giant smile? Of course, it’s the same for all of us. Smiles are infectious and it’s one thing worth catching. Try to always smile when around others. Especially while talking. Smiling while talking has an unbelievable effect on people.
Get people to talk about themselves.
We all have a lot going on. And we all want to talk about it. The problem is, as I mentioned earlier, no one listens. So we are left unsatisfied when we talk with others. Getting people to talk about themselves solves this issue. Ask questions about them. What do they do for a living, when is their birthday, what are their hobbies, what do they like, dislike, what’s their favorite season. Anything to keep the attention on them. All of this information will be valuable to you. People open up like flowers once you show an interest in them.
Pretend no one else is in the room when speaking with someone.
I have had this problem. A wandering eye while talking with someone. There are distractions everywhere. People talking, phones buzzing, it’s not easy to keep your attention on one thing for an extended period of time. But when talking with someone it is essential. Focus. Understand the importance of every interaction. The benefits of being known as a good listener and conversationalists are tremendous. And even if you offer nothing more than your attention, eye contact and two listening ears, you will always be known as a great conversationalist.
Compliment. Never criticize.
Bad news, criticizing doesn’t work. It actually has an opposite effect. Criticism will make the the person you are criticising resent you. They will not want to be around you and eventually they will avoid you altogether. No one likes to be criticized. But we all love to be complemented. You should always, ALWAYS, find a way to compliment someone. Females are particularly easy. Shoes, hair, outfit, purse. Anything can be used with a female. Males are a little bit different, it may take a little more work. But you’ll find something. Complements are gold. Use them to your advantage.
Becoming a great communicator is invaluable and cannot be overstated. People will want to be around you which will lead to more opportunities and more success. It’s also a very easy thing to master. Just incorporating these 5 ideas will change everything for you.
Pay attention to others as you talk and as you overhear other conversations. You will start to separate the good communicators with the bad. Congratulations. This is a very valuable lesson to learn.